No. 33 Distraction Fallacies
Relative Privation
In Turkish: Daha Kötüsü Var Safsatası
Worse things exist in the world; my roof doesn’t stop leaking because of them.
The roof’s leaking again. This is the third time I’ve emptied this bucket.
Fadime, there are people in the world with no house at all, and you’re upset about a bucket?
We’ll help the homeless too, Dursun; we’ll also replace the tile. Hold the ladder.
What is it?
Dismissing a complaint or a problem by pointing at a bigger one: “children are starving somewhere and you’re upset about this?” The existence of a bigger problem doesn’t make the smaller one disappear; both sit in the same world at the same time.
The pattern
- A: “X is a problem.”
- B: “Y is a much bigger problem.”
- B: “So X isn’t worth discussing.”
Why it fails
It sounds like maturity: “look at the big picture.” But the big picture contains the small problems too, and they’re usually the ones that can actually be fixed. By this logic nothing but the single worst problem on earth could ever be discussed, because every problem has a bigger one somewhere. The real job of the move is to shame the complainer into silence, not to solve anything.
How to spot it
- The reply is about a different, bigger trouble, not about the complaint itself.
- Phrases like “be grateful”, “look at the big picture”, “the real problem”.
- The complainer suddenly feels spoiled or ungrateful; the problem stays exactly where it was.
What to say
Put the two side by side: “True, worse exists. That doesn’t make this not a problem. Now back to this one.” If needed, own the big problem too: “Let’s do something about that as well; but this roof is leaking tonight.”
When it’s not a fallacy
When sharing out limited resources, ranking problems by size is legitimate: in an emergency room the heart attack goes before the sprained ankle. Showing that a complaint is out of proportion, with an actual comparison, isn’t a fallacy either. The fallacy isn’t ranking; it’s striking the smaller problem off the list altogether.
Examples
- WorkEmployee: “The office is freezing in winter.” Manager: “Think of the people working down a mine.” The miners shouldn’t be cold either, and nor should the office; one doesn’t rule out the other.
- FamilyChild: “My shoes pinch.” Mother: “At your age I didn’t even have shoes.” Her childhood was hard too; the shoes still pinch.
- Health“My back hurts.” “The neighbour has cancer and you come here with your back?” Best wishes to the neighbour; the back still needs looking at.
- Social mediaA complaint that an app keeps crashing gets: “There’s a war on and you’re crying about an app?” Ending the war isn’t in the complainer’s hands; fixing the app is in the company’s.